Alliance for Catholic Education
All teachers know the magic of returning from winter break. For ONCE, you feel rested and motivated for the new semester ahead. Sure, there is always a bit of exhaustion at the thought of returning to waking up at 5:45 AM every morning… But it seems like the more experienced teachers become, the happier they are when they begin the second semester of the school year.
So, as a second-year teacher set on having the best semester yet, imagine my surprise when, on my first day back at school, the overwhelming emotion I felt throughout the day was énouement: the bittersweet feeling of knowing that my time in ACE is coming to an end, and reflecting back on what I wish I would have known when I started the program.
As I come to the end of my time in ACE, and as I reflect on how I felt, I realized that there is quite simply nothing like ACE. Nothing. Not one thing can compare to the feeling of showing up to a job everyday where you impact a million little lives — not only your students, but their parents, and their siblings, and one day, all the people they will know and work with and help one day. The way your heart feels full when your student asks you for a hug because at the end of the day, they love you and hope you love them back. The pride you feel as your student who struggled to speak at the start of the year uses the word ‘impressment’ in an everyday conversation with a friend. There is nothing that can compare to coming home at the end of the day to your closest friends; ones who know the exact struggle of what you do and have seen you at your best and worst, and still love you entirely. To talking with them about your hopes and dreams and how you feel like you know nothing and yet too much at the same time and what you feel like your purpose in life is and everything in between. To being invited to a coworker’s birthday party dinner and finding yourself with tears in your eyes as happy birthday blasts in the background because you realize that you have built yourself a community in a city you never even imagined living in before when you used to feel terribly alone. There is nothing like realizing you started out ACE praying to God everyday as a first year teacher to help you simply make it through the day to praying in gratitude for the work you have been able to achieve and the many blessings you have in your life.
The spring semester was already especially dear within my heart. As a first year teacher, it taught me the joys of seeing my students grow academically and emotionally in visible ways. As a second year, though, my reflection and love for ACE goes beyond that. It shows itself in more meaningful ways. It’s in the way I have improved myself as a professional and a person, in the ways I have learned the best shortcuts to get somewhere or the best spots to view the sunset in Baton Rouge or the best crawfish store around, in the way I know my community inside and out.
I still remember vividly last spring coming home to one of my ACE 29s crying inside the house. When I asked her what was wrong, she simply smiled at me — with tears in her eyes — and said: “Nothing — I’m just going to miss this.” I didn’t really understand then — who could? But as I savor each last day in my ACE community (and yes, as I admit that I cried in a restaurant singing happy birthday) and at my school, and with the incredible blessing of getting to say that I have students who have become MY kids — I understand now. While I know and am so incredibly glad that my students and I will be moving onto bigger and better things after this year, I am going to miss this. In fact, even though I still have time left as a teacher and plan to relish every second of it, I am already mourning the time I have spent in ACE. After all, everything you come to love in ACE you had to work for, whether it be a good relationship with God, your students, or the communities around you.
And so, if you are reading this, take it from me: I know ACE can be difficult, and I know the spring semester can at times seem like an impossible task. But I ask that you enjoy the little things while they last. From the best things to the things that annoy you, find joy in them — because one day, I promise you, you are going to miss this.